“3 principles in keeping love alive 1. Participate in the act of love · 2. Maintain your individuality and appreciate your partner’s individuality · 3. Ignore your critical inner voice.”.
PsychAlive (https://www.psychalive.org/3-principles-keep-love-alive/)
The concept of being alone isn’t linked to the feeling of loneliness. In fact, you can make living without love beneficial and positive for you by reading through this article. Soon, you’ll not only be satisfied, but also ecstatic about the way you are and the way your life. One of the major keys in making this happen is endurance and discipline in allowing yourself to get active and not isolate yourself; for if you do and for awhile it’s hard to get out of it. Here are some steps in helping you reach the goal of not feeling alone:
We talk a lot about singles, but we don’t talk about this: what it’s like to live without a partner while longing for one, over years, then decades.
Just 51 percent of the adult population is married, down from 72 percent in 1960. So we talk about swinging, “Sex and the City” singles and extended adolescences. We talk about the delay of marriage or the rise of cohabitation and single motherhood. Depending on our perspective, we cheer the broadening definitions of family or bemoan the breakdown of the nuclear unit.
But the cousin or neighbor or co-worker who always seems to be on his or her own? We don’t give them much thought.
It’s easier not to. Perhaps as much as religion, our society hinges on belief in romantic love. How many songs and novels revolve around the long search and eventual discovery of a beloved? The phrase “happily ever after” implies a singular outcome: two lives made ever better by virtue of their union.
Never mind that close to half of marriages end in divorce that many of those who stay married do so unhappily, and that, rationally, we all know life can be a struggle regardless of relationship status. Ninety percent of us will marry — often repeatedly — on the belief that marriage can add something fundamentally good to our lives.
Certainly, there’s a huge biological imperative to pair up — procreation and protection of the young used to demand it. But reproductive technologies have expanded our baby-making options, and security systems do a good job of deflecting predators. And we still want the ineffable. We want love.
Love is true, but yet, it is fickle. Long lasting love has to evolve and grow over the years, and at times it takes a few unique measures too. Find out how to keep love alivetake in a relationship.
Knowing how to keep love alive in a relationship can seem easy, but it’s actually more difficult that most lovers imagine.
You have to remember you’re not always going to be the same teenager who fell in love with your teenage lover. You will evolve and so will your partner.
Most couples assume they don’t need to have intimate conversations or exchange thoughts about each other’s views on life because they already know everything about their partner.
But what many don’t understand is that we grow and evolve as individuals constantly, and our likes, dislikes and opinions too change all the time.
In the introduction on how to keep love alive, we’ve seen that there are just two basic requirements for a relationship to be successful.
Affection and sexual desire.
As long as we can keep these two emotions on a high, love too can be kept alive and exciting.
Find out how to keep love alive and make the relationship more exciting and fun, even as the years roll by with these simple and at times, unconventional tips.
How to keep love alive
Most lovers start taking their partner for granted over the years, and this eventually leads to boredom in a relationship. Curiosity in a relationship is the driving force in keeping love alive in a long term relationship.
When you assume you know everything about a partner, love starts to stagnate and differences start to crop up, even if the words aren’t voiced out. After all, both of you grow as individuals with each passing day. [Read: How to know if you are in love]
Here are a few tips on how to keep love alive in a relationship and how to bring the excitement back again, especially when it comes to affection and sexual attraction.
Avoid taking each other for granted
One of the disadvantages of long term relationships is the fact that lovers start to take each other for granted. They assume they know their partner’s likes and dislikes and end up making a lot of assumptions, which can be critically wrong at times.
On the other hand, even favors and special gestures are taken for granted as the years go by. If a husband prepares a breakfast-in-bed for his wife every Sunday morning for a few months, it’s a special gesture at the beginning. But as the months go by and the husband decides to sleep in one Sunday morning, the wife ends up getting upset that she wasn’t served her breakfast. Likewise, there may be several other kinds of special gestures that lovers share with each other which can eventually be taken for granted.
By taking these gestures for granted, nothing really becomes a special gesture anymore. Instead it becomes an obligation. Always remember to acknowledge a gesture, however small it may be if you want to understand the secret behind knowing how to keep love alive in a relationship.
By taking each other for granted, be it an evening foot rub or a big birthday bash, you’re taking away the affection behind a gesture, and turning it into an obligation. If you want to keep the love alive in your relationship, acknowledge the gestures and never ever take your partner for granted.
Surprise each other
Remember the first year of your relationship? Both of you went out of your way to buy each other birthday gifts, and every now and then you popped in a surprise just to see your lover smile in surprise. Do you still do that?
In almost all cases, couples stop paying attention to happy surprises after a few years. We want to keep the love alive in a relationship, but almost all of us stop doing anything to keep the relationship exciting and unique. It doesn’t matter if it is concert tickets, a surprise vacation or even a posse of flowers. Go out of your way to make your partner feel special like you used to, and you’ll see that the relationship will only get more exciting and affectionate in no time. [Read: Dating facts]
Celebrate special occasions
Pay attention to relationship landmarks and special occasions in the relationship. Many Valentine’s Days, anniversaries and birthdays may come and go, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore them because you have so many special moments all year round.
Try to make every year exciting and special in its own way. And wherever possible, try to go out of your way to make your partner feel special. You may lose a few hours or a couple of days planning something special, but the fact that you still try to please your partner and make them feel special is a sure sign that you’re taking an initiative to keep the love alive in the relationship.
As long as you give enough importance to affection and sexual desire in a relationship, it’s a great assurance that the flame of love will burn bright in your relationship for years to come.
Sexual desire is by far, one of the most important requirements of a happy romantic relationship. If you want to know how to keep love alive, then your best bet is to focus on a more than satisfying sex life. Can you remember the first time you got intimate with your partner? It may be a while ago, but you can’t really forget the racing heartbeats, the passionate cold sweat and the weak knees, can you?
Now just because it’s been a few years since you’ve been together, there’s really no reason why sex can’t remain exciting and heart pounding. Most people want to know how to keep love alive, but yet they don’t really pay attention to sexual attraction between the partners. Humans are built for procreation, we’re one of the few species on earth that indulge in sex for pleasure. All of us want and need sex, irrespective of whether we get to have it with a partner or someone else. So if you really want to keep your love life on a high, you really have to understand the importance of sex in a relationship, and how vital a role it plays in holding two individuals together in a romantic relationship.
You may have been satisfied doing the missionary position or making love in a quiet bedroom for years until both of you start to get bored with each other bodies. But you can change all that in a few weeks. Start doing something new and exciting, be it indulging in a few fantasies or trying new things in bed or finding new places to make love with each other. It may feel awkward at first, but you’ll be able to have a more satisfying and fulfilling romantic life if you can satisfy your inbuilt sexual urges.
Figuring out how to fix a relationship, if that is the reason for lack of love with romance like when you first fell in love is a lot like stacking a deck of cards. There are so many different cards involved and it’s really difficult to know where exactly the balance went awry.
Just like a stack of cards, in almost all cases, it’s never a single reason that leads to a failure in love.
It’s a series of disappointments and resentments that lead to an unhappy relationship and eventually on both sides doing it. So it takes 2 to hurt each other and 2 to work things out but let the disappointments and resentments go on and it could get to a point of no turning back.
But nevertheless, it really the relationship doesn’t have to end this way. Remember most vows include at the alter the day of marriage you will be there in good times and bad. Even the unhappiest of relationships can be fixed with a bit of understanding and love. Do you 2 have that in you or was it never there day one or are you two individual strong people who really love each other that are just human making mistakes at times. Including that you 2 strong people allow your love to overrule the mistake the other one makes with not holding it over the person later in life with the one who made the mistake resolve the problem with never letting it happen again. Love can be a strong bond or a weak one.
“Kindness is more than behavior. The art of kindness means harboring a spirit of helpfulness, as well as being generous and considerate, and doing so without expecting anything in return. Kindness is a quality of being. The act of giving kindness often is simple, free, positive and healthy. Physiologically, kindness can positively change your brain. Being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure/reward centers in your brain to light up. Endorphins, which are your body’s natural pain killer, also can be released.”.
MAYO CLINIC (https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/the-art-of-kindness)
“In psychology, theory of mind is an important social-cognitive skill that involves the ability to think about mental states, both your own and those of others. It encompasses the ability to attribute mental states, including emotions, desires, beliefs, and knowledge, and recognize that other people’s thoughts and beliefs may differ from yours.”.
verywellmind (https://www.verywellmind.com/theory-of-mind-4176826)
““Heart disease, often used interchangeably with the term “cardiovascular disease” (CVD), describes several conditions affecting the heart, the blood vessels that nourish the heart (the coronary arteries), and the arteries that distribute blood to the brain, legs, and everywhere in-between. Heart disease afflicts or kills as many as one in two adults in the United States and other developed countries. [1]”
Harvard T.H. Chan school of public health (https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/disease-prevention/cardiovascular-disease/)
“Eating disorders are real, treatable diseases. They frequently coexist with other illnesses such as depression, substance use, or anxiety disorders. Psychological and medicinal treatments are effective for many eating disorders. The earlier eating disorders are diagnosed and treated, the better the chances are for recovery.”.
healthychildren.org (https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/emotional-problems/Pages/Treating-Eating-Disorders.aspx)
You and your treatment team will determine what your needs are and come up with goals and guidelines. This will include a plan for treating your eating disorder and setting up treatment goals. It will also make it clear what to do if you’re not able to stick with your plan or if you’re having health problems related to your eating disorder.
Your treatment team can also:
Eating disorders can cause serious health problems related to inadequate nutrition, overeating, bingeing and other factors. The type of health problems caused by eating disorders depends on the type and severity of the eating disorder. In many cases, problems caused by an eating disorder require ongoing treatment and monitoring.
Medications can’t cure an eating disorder, but they may help you follow your treatment plan. They’re most effective when combined with psychological counseling. Antidepressants are the most common medications used to treat eating disorders that involve binge-eating or purging behaviors, but depending on the situation, other medications are sometimes prescribed.Taking an antidepressant may be especially helpful if you have bulimia or binge-eating disorder. Antidepressants can also help reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder, which frequently occur along with eating disorders.
You may also need to take medications for physical health problems caused by your eating disorder.
Hospitalization may be necessary if you have serious physical or mental health problems or if you have anorexia and are unable to eat or gain weight. Severe or life-threatening physical health problems that occur with anorexia can be a medical emergency.
In many cases, the most important goal of hospitalization is to get back to a healthy weight. Achieving your healthy weight can take months, so you’ll probably need to continue outpatient treatment to accomplish your goals once you get out of the hospital.
Researchers are finding that eating disorders are caused by a complex interaction of genetic, biological, psychological, and social factors. But many questions still need answers. Researchers are studying questions about behavior, genetics, and brain function to better understand risk factors, identify biological markers, and develop specific psychotherapies and medications that can target areas in the brain that control eating behavior. Brain imaging and genetic studies may provide clues for how each person may respond to specific treatments for these medical illnesses. Ongoing efforts also are aimed at developing and refining strategies for preventing and treating eating disorders among adolescents and adults.
You are the most important member of your treatment team. For successful treatment, you need to be actively involved in your treatment and so do your family members and other loved ones. Your treatment team can provide education and tell you where to find more information and support.
There’s a lot of misinformation about eating disorders on the Web, so it’s important that you follow the advice of your treatment team and get suggestions on reputable websites to learn more about your eating disorder. Examples of helpful websites include the National Eating Disorders
“Treatments for eating disorders include therapy, education and medication. Find out what works. Eating disorder treatment depends on your particular disorder and your symptoms. It typically includes a combination of psychological therapy (psychotherapy), nutrition education, medical monitoring and sometimes medications.
Eating disorder treatment also involves addressing other health problems caused by an eating disorder, which can be serious or even life-threatening if they go untreated for too long. If an eating disorder doesn’t improve with standard treatment or causes health problems, you may need hospitalization or another type of inpatient program.”
MAYO CLINC (https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/eating-disorders/in-depth/eating-disorder-treatment/art-20046234)
The eating disorders anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating disorder, and their variants, all feature serious disturbances in eating behavior and weight regulation. They are associated with a wide range of adverse psychological, physical, and social consequences. A person with an eating disorder may start out just eating smaller or larger amounts of food, but at some point, their urge to eat less or more spirals out of control. Severe distress or concern about body weight or shape, or extreme efforts to manage weight or food intake, also may characterize an eating disorder.
Eating disorder treatment also involves addressing other health problems caused by an eating disorder, which can be serious or even life-threatening if they go untreated for long enough. If an eating disorder doesn’t improve with standard treatment or causes health problems, you may need hospitalization or another type of inpatient program.
Having an organized approach to eating disorder treatment can help you manage symptoms, regain a healthy weight, and maintain your physical and mental health.
Eating disorders are real, treatable medical illnesses. They frequently coexist with other illnesses such as depression, substance abuse, or anxiety disorders. Other symptoms can become life-threatening if a person does not receive treatment, which is reflected by anorexia being associated with the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder.
Eating disorders affect both genders, although rates among women and girls are 2½ times greater than among men and boys. Eating disorders frequently appear during the teen years or young adulthood but also may develop during childhood or later in life.
How are eating disorders treated?
Typical treatment goals include restoring adequate nutrition, bringing weight to a healthy level, reducing excessive exercise, and stopping binging and purging behaviors. Specific forms of psychotherapy, or talk therapy—including a family-based therapy called the Maudsley approach and cognitive behavioral approaches—have been shown to be useful for treating specific eating disorders. Evidence also suggests that antidepressant medications approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration may help for bulimia nervosa and also may be effective for treating co-occurring anxiety or depression for other eating disorders.
Treatment plans often are tailored to individual needs and may include one or more of the following:
You may start by seeing your family doctor or mental health counselor, such as a psychologist. You may also need to see other health professionals who specialize in eating disorder treatment. Other members of your treatment team may include:
It’s best if everyone involved in your treatment communicates about your progress so that adjustments can be made to your treatment as needed.
Managing an eating disorder can be a long-term challenge. You may need to continue to see your doctor, psychologist or other members of your treatment team on a regular basis, even if your eating disorder and related health problems are under control.
Some patients also may need to be hospitalized to treat problems caused by malnutrition or to ensure they eat enough if they are very underweight. Complete recovery is possible.
“30 million people in the U.S. have an eating disorder. 95 percent of people with eating disorders are between the ages 12 and 25. Eating disorders have the HIGHEST risk of death of any mental illness. Eating disorders affect all genders, all races and every ethnic group. Genetics, environmental factors and personality traits all contribute to the risk of developing an eating disorder.”.
John Hopkins All Children Hospital (https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org/Services/Pediatric-and-Adolescent-Medicine/Adolescent-and-Young-Adult-Specialty-Clinic/Eating-Disorders/Eating-Disorder-Facts)